Today’s Lesson: A moment of panic, knowing that you’ve lost…

My seniors just had their graduation last night, for which I am amazingly proud. I cried, cheered and felt a pride I have never felt in my heart before. But today, as I took down all of my pictures and posters, I had a moment of panic, knowing that they are no longer mine. It was a bittersweet feeling. They have reached their goal, my goal for them, and the world is now open to them. But in that moment I realized that I had lost something. There are kids that I will never see again, kids that I love and cherish. But the truth of life is that, there is only a handful that I will ever see again. It is for those that I wonder if they truly understand the magnitude of the world around them. I wonder if I did a good job preparing them to stand up to what will face them. I wonder if they know how hard it is for us to let them go.

Today's Lesson: Things that makes us who we are or will become...

This is a little narrative that I wrote years ago, but it says a little about me...

Evil: "Morally wrong or bad" - Webster

I was about nine years old the first time I came into contact with EVIL, or at least what I perceived it to be at the time. His name was Nicholas Cox and he was my brother Derek’s friend. I remember the day, vividly, it was a brilliant sunny day in late May and Nicholas had come over with the sole prospect of traumatizing me for the rest of my life. I was entertaining myself (with angelic dignity) in the den with my favorite doll (it was in fact the Cinderella Barbie doll), trying to decide if she should wear her blue or white dress for the arrival of the prince. It was no sooner that I looked up to see who had come into the room, that a grubby white freckled little hand reached down, snatching my beloved doll out of my hands. I am still haunted by what happened next.

There he was running around with my doll, laughing a purely evil laugh as she plummeted to the ground from the catwalk above. I can almost swear that I heard her scream as she fell what must have been a mile in Barbie measurements. The smacking sound of her plastic body against the tile was enough to send me screaming to Derek.

I have heard it said many times since then that “good always triumphs over EVIL”, but the dark side was just too strong to save Cindy that day. Derek tried to save her, more out of fear of our mom than out of fear for what was sure to befall Cindy. It was a valiant attempt to save himself, I mean Cindy, but in the last she ended up decapitated. There she was her body in one of those grubby white freckled hands and in the other he dangled her head by the pony tail in front of me.

The next week Nicholas was forced to buy me a new Barbie doll by his mom (it was in fact the super long hair Barbie). I decapitated that one myself out of spite. As a result of the actions of this messenger of darkness, I have since then developed an unadulterated hatred of dolls.

Today’s Lesson: Letting go, or at least trying to.

Graduation is fast approaching, an event for which we have all been looking forward to. But now that it is so close, I feel a tinge of pain in my heart. I find myself nervous for the lives that they are about to embark on. I hope that they are ready; I hope that I have helped prepare them; I hope that they will be happy. All that I can simply say is that even though we still have 5 days left together, I miss them. It amazes me how attached you can become to these odd creatures we call teenagers. I am not a parent, but I imagine that this is what it feels like on the day a parent realizes that their child is no longer a child. You are proud yet devastated, relieved but apprehensive. And though the event is joyous, there is a side of you that wishes they could stay with you forever.

But in an effort to ease the pain of those who will miss the students, less sentimental teachers have put together a BBQ in which we will have some highly entertaining events. We will wipe our tears away while the staff put on rented Sumo suits and wrestle to the bitter end. What better way to ease my pain, than to give me the opportunity to body slam someone? All I have to say is, “Library Clerk, your butt is mine”!!!

Today’s Lesson: Vatos at the Gym and a Unique Gift Idea for Teacher Appreciation Week…

My daily routine begins with a trip to the gym, bright and early and with a tinge of resentment. It is there, that every morning I see a particular friendly neighborhood vato. He is handsome, in his late 20s, and not the kind of person that you would ever go up to and start a conversation with. He has “I could kill you with a tooth-pick” written all over his face. To top it all off, he is an extreme fighter. The dude gets paid to beat the crap out of people. Scary? I think so. Did you know that extreme fighters get a new tattoo after they win a fight? Well, now you do. And guess what, he is covered in them! On one occasion at the gym, he approached me and very politely asked if he could use the machine I was on when I finished. I froze, my life, for a brief second, flashed before my eyes. What could I say? I couldn’t even move! All I kept think was, “he could kill me with a tooth-pick” and “is that a new tattoo?”. After what felt like an eternity, I managed to give my consent.

The hard exterior of such individuals can scare us common folk. But really, they are people too. They have feelings just like me and you. And just to prove that even people with the “I could kill you with a tooth-pick” look can be nice, here is a little proof…

This week is teacher appreciation week. Teachers wait all year for it. We get candy, flowers, food, and other random but meaningful gifts. I told my students that I personally like diamonds, but they gave me something even better. I received a special thug life gift from my students as a token of teacher appreciation. An initiation of sorts, if you will. I, yes I was given the gift of a gang sign by my students.

How many of you can say you have your own designer gang sign? I didn’t think so. It is nice to know that each day when my students come to class and hold up that upside down peace sign with a thumb making a horizontal line, they are really saying, “Adams, we love you”.

Lesson of the day: Analogies

Teachers : Vikings :: Desperation : pillage

I know that analogies can be confusing, so I am going to break this one down for you. Let’s start with a definition, an analogy is a similarity between like features of two things, on which a comparison may be based. With that in mind, think… think hard. Teachers and Vikings??? I’m sure you have all heard that thousands of California teachers are loosing their jobs. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Skimp, save, be a tight wad! But when the time comes, and it will come, pillage! I don’t mean take all of Kroger with you the next time you visit the market. Because in all honesty we will get severance or unemployment, but until then we have to deal with the budget cuts at work. It isn’t as though our pockets are empty, no, no, they have been sewn shut for crying out loud. And this past week I had taken all that I could take! I was tired of the dirty looks from the office staff every time I ask for ink or paper, so I took matters into my own hands.
Recently the teacher in the classroom next to me was transferred to another school and his room was empty… or was it? I was able to get a key from the secretary and scope out the bounteous treasures that lay within the newly emptied room. As I stood in the doorway, it was as if my long buried Viking blood came bubbling to the surface. Pillage!!! One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I had merely gone in with the intention of taking the desk (since my own has been broken for ages), but then it hit me, the room was like the ruins of a past civilization. Like Egypt, Rome or Greece the “artifacts” therein could be pillaged and reused or possibly… sold. I could not manage the feet on my own, and thus enlisted the aid of 7 student aids. In all we were able to pillage:
1 giant teacher desk
1table
2 dry erase markers
1 ink cartridge
60 or so pages of white computer paper
12 colored pencils
1 mini post it pad
1daily planer
10 report folders (with school logo)
5 unused referrals
1 extension cord

Desperate times call for desperate measures

The Pied Piper of teenage boys…

There are specific types of teachers at every school, and I have finally come to know just which of the teachers I am. I am that teacher, yes you know that one. Not the mean one, not the mom one, not the so old your not sure how they are still alive one. No, I am that one… the pied piper of teenage boys. You remember the story of the pied piper right? Had an amazing ability to attract rats and children. Well, I attract teenagers, boys specifically. I’m not proud, in fact I find it confusing. What exactly acts as my pipe? Could they be drawn to my completely invisible cleavage? Perhaps it is my always Katherine Hepburn inspired baggy men’s trousers and non form fitting suit jackets? I mean really, since when did chubby Italian girls become all the rage? I’m honest with them, I’m a NERD! Since when did Star Wars geeks become attractive to teenage boys? What happened to all the regular teenage boys? Were they taken by pod people and replaced by chubby chasing aliens? My confusion really comes from my own reflections on high school. Never in a million years would any of my friends have told a teacher they were hot! I mean think it, joke with your friends about it, but never and I mean never would it have even been for a second considered something that you would say to your teacher. Have things changed that much in the past 10 years? I am exhausted. I can only hope that over the weekend all the normal youth of America will be returned by the evil pod people who have caused me so much stress.

Today's lesson: having a bubble is never a bad thing

Burrito Contraband

When you work at a high school, it is amazing to see the things that become contraband, clandestine actions, otherwise known as the black market of high school students. I mean really, gum… sounds pretty innocent right? Little did you know that there was a black market gum trading ring at your local high school. Careful, you might get your kneecaps busted if you are behind on your gum payments. But really, that is child’s play. Let’s talk about the real stuff, the hard core contraband of the high school world. There are always drugs, but more interestingly there are things you would never expect them to be selling. For example at my high school we recently had a burrito selling ring. I will admit several of the teachers were involved in the burrito contraband ring, buying the most amazing burritos EVER made. I, trying to be “good” held out for a while until the temptation was just too much and I gave in. But of course, the one time I take part in the underground networking of the high school black market, something would have to go terribly, terribly wrong. Pablo the burrito dealer got caught on camera selling… Caught on camera “exchanging” foil wrapped packages for undetermined amounts of cash… As soon as he got my money the security guard picked him up. Okay, I can see how bad the foil wrapped package looked, but really!!! I mean we are in the ghetto, there is no 17 year old kid with enough money to buy what would have looked like a 5 pound brick of foil wrapped heroin. Clearly it had to be something else! Now, these kids take their clandestine actions very seriously. Do you think he would admit to the principal what he was selling? Not a chance. So, heartbreak of all heartbreaks the burrito underground was brought to a crashing halt… and I never got my burrito…